Walking to Aikido class. Thoughts? From now on I will stop dwelling darkness and shadows, for that is where predators find me. I will only follow the path of light. I this way, I will not only come upon what is light.
10:45 p.m.
"A great civilization is not conquered from without until it has destroyed itself from within." W. Durant
People, too, cannot be conquered until they have destroyed themselves from within. There have been points in my life when I very nearly destroyed myself. There have been points when I lived, devastated. I think Randall caught me at one of those points, and I was conquered by him. But, over time, I rebuilt myself, or perhaps, through giving birth, was myself reborn. The reconstruction ended in his devastation, and I am truly sorry for that. But I did not know another way.
All my life I gave over things I needed to keep for myself. It resulted in my destruction, which once I wished upon myself. I am no longer that person. Today I find myself worthy. Deserving. Today I love myself and want to do right. I hope tomorrow is like today. Every tomorrow.
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