Thursday, January 28, 2010

Another fitting tune



Brought to my consciousness by http://blip.fm/AlaskaLoneWolf and resonated enough to blog.

Yeah

Who's Next?

It used to be, when I would come out of a relationship, I would be anxious to find the next guy.  I hated the feeling of being alone, especially after being deeply involved with someone.  Of course, in this situation, there is never a "good" next.

This is the first time in my life, I don't want a next guy.  So who's next?  Me.  I'm next.  I am not going to distract myself from my sadness, my loss, by attempting to fill this gaping hole which has been left in my world.  I am going to allow myself to feel my way through these emotions, work them into pieces of art, writing, poetry.  I will not cheapen the love I've come to know by drowning my feelings the way I once would.  Nights of drinking, one night stands, meaningless "relationships". 

I found a strength through this love I didn't know existed inside of me.  I found wisdom that was inherent but forgotten.  I found a place in my heart that had been untouched, unrevealed.  It was the place that holds the key to personal happiness.  I found the beauty within.  And although I have to let go of him, I will never let go of all that I gained in loving him.  And I will never stop loving him.


Tuesday, January 26, 2010

Beautiful Day

It's a beautiful day
Somewhere,
Anyway

Right here
It's a little cloudly
It's a little busy
It's a little lonely

It's not supposed to be like this
Or is it?

Sunday, January 24, 2010

Thursday, January 21, 2010

Conversations with Abacus (#1)

Abacus:  Did you know that Chinese people don't fart?
Me:  And where did you get this information?
Abacus:  My friend from China told me.
*pause*
Abacus:  Just kidding.  I looked it up on the internet.
Me:  That doesn't sound very realistic.
Abacus:  Just kidding.  Only Earth people fart.
Me:  Oh?  So Chinese people aren't from Earth?
Abacus:  No, they're from Pluto.

Wednesday, January 20, 2010

Reality

Shifting
Changing
Yet steadfast
Perspective injects itself
To change
The face
Of time

Time

That function of reality
Amorphous
And cruel

Wisdom

Comes with time
Which is fleeting
And never-ending

Where
Is the wisdom
Of my reality

I seek answers
To questions
I shouldn't even
Be asking

Answers
Which spin
My reality
Here
And there

What
Is the reality
Of love

Love

Was once
My reality
But
I lacked the wisdom
At that time
So now
There's only
Perspective
Which I can't
Even seem
To find

What is real?

Is it this moment
Is it our last interaction
Is it absence
Is it presence
Is it yesterday
Is it tomorrow

Is it the beginning
Or is it the end
Is it my mind
Or is it his
Is it pleasure
Or is it pain
Is it my loss
Or is it my gain

Reality is
Time is now
Wisdom is now mine
Love is now mine, forever

Sunday, January 10, 2010

Pieces of Me

I leave
Pieces of me
All over
To feel connected
With the world at large

My poems
Are pieces
Pieces of me

My drawings
Are pieces
Pieces of me

The most amazings pieces
I ever made
Are real life
Honest to goodness
Living
Breathing
Children

Which you may think
Is a feat
Anyone
Can undertake
But to embrace them
As pieces of you
And let them go
As pieces of you
That
My friend
Is  true art