Wednesday, February 15, 2017

Darkness

I wasn't afraid of darkness
Until I stopped sleeping
And the darkness
Started to feel
Eternal

I wasn't afraid of darkness
Until I stopped shining
And the darkness
Started to feel
Impenetrable

I wasn't afraid
Of darkness
Until
I began to hide in it
And the darkness
Started to feel
Like
Home

Saturday, January 21, 2017

#WhyIMarch

I march because I can no longer be silent.  Silence is a luxury afforded a Country with a government that works for ALL of its citizens.

I march because I have the power to do so.  For every woman who is held by fear, obligation, control, finances, disability or lack of understanding, I march for her.

I march because I love our Country and its founding principles.  If we fail to exercise our democratic rights, we stand to lose them.

I march to be an example to my children.  To show them the moral imperative to stand up for that what you believe.

I march because I believe in my womanhood and motherkind.  It's time to celebrate that.

I march to add my face to the anonymous masses.  To add my heart to the strength of the love movement.

I march because I am woman.  Hear me roar.

https://youtu.be/-zw9dhiYJqY

Friday, January 13, 2017

Dear Box,

Thank you.  I am grateful for how you've sheltered me all these years.  I needed your protection, I was fragile, I needed to heal.  I felt so safe inside of you.  Warm.  As I grew, you stayed the same. I found myself shrinking, to fit inside of you.  To stay safe.  Warm.

But safety became a delusion.  Because I had outgrown you.  So I lived in denial, kept shrinking to fit.  During my various growth spurts, I would stand-up, look around.  I started to venture out, from time to time.  Run, dance...play.  Pain would come, I would retreat to you.  Shrink myself as best I could.  Hide.

The word I chose this year is "Open".  My first step, dear box, is to not just venture outside, but to leave you behind entirely.  I know there's another little girl, who needs your protection, during a vulnerable time.  Hopefully she will be insightful enough to leave you behind as soon as she outgrows you, instead of continuing to hang on, as I have.  Far, far too long.

And so, today, I write to tell you I'm leaving you.  I'm moving on.  I'm done shrinking to fit, denying myself the opportunity to stand in my pain and grow stronger in my own right.  The pain will come, and I will no longer retreat.  I will not seek shelter or safety.  I will experience the pain and grow stronger.  Perhaps I will need to reach out, but no longer will I run and hide.

I am Open.

I am Love.

I am Resilience.

I am Mee.

Finally.  

Friday, December 23, 2016

Hey, 2017, you're right around the corner!

This is my plan for you...

Mondays:  I will make a concerted effort, including making a budget, to get my finances under control again.

Tuesdays:  I will honor one child this night, in rotation, so that acknowledging how special they are to me becomes more a part of our routine.

Wednesdays:  I will not work on merely accepting mistakes I have made, I will actively celebrate one mistake I have made in my life and thereby come to realize the joys of my imperfect state of being in an attempt to lessen some of my default fear-based control responses.

Thursdays:  I will work to care less about things and focus more on positive actions to reduce the stuff in my life.

Fridays:  I will do one thing to honor and connect with my inner child.

Saturdays:  I will involve myself/my family in one community/political action.

Sundays:  I will reflect upon the week and catch-up on any unfulfilled daily goals and reset myself and my family for the week ahead.

I found that having lofty, generalized goals for myself/my family have not been working optimally. My hope is this will make the work of self-improvement easier to digest and implement.

I'm ready for you 2017!  Let's do this!

Friday, December 9, 2016

Possibilities

It's possible
I loved you
It's possible
I
Always
Will

It's possible
I'm fine
Without you

It's possible
That hurts

It's possible
You were
Everything
I needed

It's possible
You
Left
Everything

It's possible
I don't know
What I'm writing

Sometimes
Words
Just
Flow

It's possible
Today
Is special

It's possible
Today
Is the day
I walk away
Forever