Wednesday, June 28, 2017

Face to Face

Face to face
With the life
I ruined
The only one
Completely innocent
It makes me sick
How he doesn't think
To protect her
But why do I
Still
Expect
Any common decency
From that man

Face to face
With the path
Forsaken
The look
On her face
Could not be
Mistaken

My life
For yours
I would
Have given it
I still would
If it could make things
Whole again
For you

I will
Always
Be sorry

Weight

I am no stranger
To carrying
Extra weight
On my shoulders
Often enough
I meet people
So amazing
They want
To help me
Carry it

But all it takes
Is one
Who wants
To bury me
Under it

I have met him
It is working
Bravo
You are winning

Sunday, June 25, 2017

Where

Where can I find
A gentle hand
To touch me
In a way
That I
Feel
Safe

Where can I find
A strong shoulder
To rest my head
And lean on
For a moment's
Respite

Where can I find
A true heart
That doesn't try
To take
To shield
To run away
To yield
But just
Be true
And still
And kind

Where can I find
Those pieces
Of myself
I've given away
Over the years
And wish
I still had

Where can I find
The answer
To the tears
That haven't stopped
Since the hearing


Where can I find
My heart

I need it
To love myself
Again

Friday, June 23, 2017

Him

I met a man
For whom
I would
Have
Died
He took
My love
And with
His twisted heart
And
His twisted mind
He twisted mine
And now
He makes
Me
Want
To
Die

Ain't love grand?

Thursday, June 22, 2017

Wow

Well
That took
No time at all
You are
Really
REALLY
Working hard
For my downfall

I wish
I could say
I'm strong enough
To withstand
Anything

But I'm not
I'm breaking
And you're doing it
And knowing
That you're enjoying it
Doesn't even make me feel stronger

You reopened
All my wounds
And now
With no time to heal
You've set to work
Stabbing
Going for the kill

You are
A vicious
Vicious
Beast

I pray
That I never know
The true depth
Of your rage
And capacity
To cause pain
Because I am sure
I've only seen
A fraction


Sunday, June 18, 2017

Hey World

Hey World
No
I'm not okay
I know
It's just another day
But I feel beaten
And battered
Bruised
And broken
I feel
Exhausted
And
Finished

I won't
Kill myself
Because
He would be
So happy
And my kids
So sad
But I have to say
The thought of death
Brings peace
To my tormented mind

Perhaps that's too much
But guess what
I don't care
Because I need to get it out
Before it kills me
Before the thoughts
Take shape
And form
And weight
And action

I know
I'm not alone
I know
That people care
I know
That only some people
Want me to hurt
This deeply
This thoroughly
And those people
Can laugh
And clap
And dance
Because this
This feeling
It's a new low
Congratulations

Hey World
Yes
I will be okay
I know that
And I can say it
But I will tell you
It feels really fucking empty
When anyone else does
So maybe
Save it
For when I'm ready
Right now
I just need to find my way
Out of this darkness
So if you have a light
Shine it
And if you don't
I'll share mine
When I find it again

Love
Mee


Ground

I take a step
It turns to sand
Quicksand
They say
Not to struggle
So you won't go under
How much sense
Does that even make
Yet
That's exactly
What I do

Accept
Accept
Accept

Don't struggle

Accept your lies
Accept my path
Accept my pain
Accept my death

Don't struggle

Darkness
The shadow
On my heart
From your knife
Obliterates
Yet another
Section of light

The light
In my eyes
Dims
Another degree
I need my son
I need my son to see

How can you stand there
And tell the judge
He's better off
Away from me
Even
For just that one day
How can you not see
He grounds me
And without him
I am lost

I am lost
And wandering
And scared
And alone
And I'm bleeding
From this wound
You inflicted
And it's not healing
Because you
Don't want to let me alone

You couldn't stand
For us to be happy
You couldn't stand
For us to not need you
You couldn't stand
Except in our way

My happiest day
Will be
When I am free
From you
Even
If that day
Is my last one