Wednesday, April 25, 2012


Meredith School Spring 2012 from Penciltopia on Vimeo.

Samurai and Abacus helped make a video!

Samurai made the lion.

Abacus made the green snake.

Friday, April 20, 2012

Heavy

I am heavy
Drenched with pain
Soaked with shame
How can I even lift my head
It is so full
Of awful thoughts
Right now
I'm drowning
When I need to be sailing
I'm falling
When I need to be flying
I'm dying
When I need to be making new life
And it's so
Fucking
Hard
Right now

Tuesday, April 17, 2012

Goodbye Today

I am afraid
I am afraid to admit I am afraid
Does saying I'm afraid
Bring unspoken fears
To life

In the darkness I weep
For a life with a little more comfort
And a little less cold
With a little more truth
And a little less pain

I seek solace
Emptiness
A place to rest my head in peace
My body in love
My heart in trust

Alas
There is no place such as this
Which I can see
Except
In the very heart of me

So here I am again
Comforting myself
Crying myself to sleep
Telling myself
Everything is going to be okay

And I know it will
Ultimately
Tomorrow is another day
Today
Today was just hard
That's all

Because not all days are created equal...

From darkness
Into golden light
Your beauty
Breaks down walls
Your strength
Inspires others
To take flight

I am no stranger
To the sleepless night
I am no stranger
To the tragic plight
Of a life of traveling
The road not taken

However close
We ever were
Was never close enough
For me to truly see
Until recently

However far
We ever go
Will never be far enough
For me to forget

As our lives
Cycle
In and out of darkness
Daring us
To be our own
Door to bright
I turn to you
My baby sister
And bask in the love
That sets your soul alight

Thank you
For sharing your love
Your time
Your thoughts
Your insight

Thank you
For sharing your world
And teaching me
A thing or two
About doing more
Than merely surviving
But taking a life of hardship
And being brave enough
To come out thriving

I hurt
As you hurt
I cry
As you cry
I grieve
As you grieve
I love
As you love
I grow
As you grow
I shine
As you shine

The strength
We see
In each other
Is not
Mere reflection
What it is
Is love’s perfection
Sisterly protection
The sweetest confection
Our heart’s projection

When you breathe in
I am here for you
When you breathe out
I am here for you
And my heart swells
With the knowledge
You
Are there for me

Tuesday, April 10, 2012

Out of Thin Air



Thoughts seem to come out of nowhere
But I feel as though
They are always there
Just like you for me
On some level
Unseen
Thank you
For thinking of me
It helped me out
Today
For here I was
Drowning in my own thoughts
And you lent me yours
And reminded me
Of another time
Another place
When life was full of light
Though not always grace
And I promise
Someday
I'll stop making fun
Of your puddle jumping
Maybe

Thursday, April 5, 2012

A Brighter Path

A compassionate heart
Does not curse the sky
For the falling rain
It sees the greater purpose
Like helping the flowers 
To bloom again

A compassionate heart
Does not cry out in pain
Screaming why and how
Over and over again
It aches to make things right
And does not seek to blame

A compassionate heart
Will always cultivate love
Without thought of personal gain
Without expectation of return
Without conditions or stipulations

A compassionate heart
Beats inside my chest
It is my brain
I need to quiet
It is my thinking
I need to change

When I listen to my heart
All that remains
Is love
And understanding
For everyone
And everything

When everyone is quiet
I hear my heart
So loud and strong
I know my path
I hear my soul's song

When everything is quiet
And I turn off my brain
I hear the most beautiful refrain
As my compassionate heart
Dances to its own beat
And I am bathed in a love
Which can suffer no defeat

I love to dance
This beat
I love to sing
This song
I love this peace of mind
Which allows me to hear it
And relish in it all

I remember when I close my mind
And fancy myself standing tall
It is merely my defensive armor
Which will hurt me when I fall
And I know I will fall
Because that inevitably happens
When I cannot see
And one can never truly see
With their mind closed

I thank the universe
For this beautiful gift
This seed of truth
I allowed to grow
And in doing so
I came to know
So many things
I never would have seen
Any other way
Like my own light shining
Through this darkest time
Like my own heart surrendering
All that was never mine
Like my own reality shattering
And breaking for all time

I will never again close my eyes to truth
I will never again stray from honor
I will never again follow a path
Which leads me through the kind of darkness
Which threatens to extinguish my light