Believe It or Not

You
Are the love of my life
I want to get lost
In the beginning of you
And the end of me
As our lives
Continue to grow
Together
I want to know your smile
As my morning nourishment
As the music of your laughter
Sings to my soul
I want only to ease
Any pain or hardship you feel
Not be the cause of it.

I want our love
To walk
Hand in hand
With our sacrifice
Stand on its shoulders
If need be
Not
Be lost beneath its feet

You
Breathed new life
Into my battered heart
Jumpstarted
The dead battery
of Hope
for romantic Love
Rekindled the fire
Between my thighs
Within my chest

With you
I was taken
To new heights
Navigated
New lows
And found
There in between
Was home

Thank you
For your time
Your patience
Your respect
Your love
Thank you
For being you
I love you.

Yeah

Who Am I?

I am the baby
Strangled in her crib
Death interrupted
Sentenced to live

I am the toddler
Learning to walk
First steps ignored
Never bothered to talk

I am the child
Shipped overseas
From burden to gift
Yet I never did see

I am the teenager
Lacking the strength
To prevent the assault
To provide my defense


I am the student
Thirsty but proud
Knowledge is nourishment
Funds didn't allow


I am the young woman
Who looked like a girl
Found strength in solitude
And hid from the world

I am the battered woman
Body painted with bruises
Running again and again
Forever falling for their ruses

I am the soldier
Who left before the war
Heart broken open
Couldn't make the tour

I am the stripper
Who danced to escape
Body on display
Guess I was asking for rape

I am the prisoner
Caged many different ways
The love in my heart
Guided me through the dark days

I am the wife
Had but not held
Too lost to be found
In silence, marriage drowned

Still

I am the baby
Who yet survived
I am the toddler
Who came to arrive

I am the child
Who enjoyed easy days
I am the teenager
Who teachers would praise

I am the student
Professors begged not to go
I am the young woman
Incredible people came to know

I am the battered woman
Whose beatings are in the past
I am the soldier
Who could always outlast

I am the stripper
Whose dance was her art
I am the prisoner
Who was free from the start

And

I am the woman
Who shook the skies
And caused the earth to shiver
When to this world
I did deliver
Son, daughter, son
As two hearts
Made one
Times three
Each birth
More free

And

I am the woman
Who learned to fly
When the voices inside
Would not subside
And I looked through the eye
Of my beholder
And found
Beauty
And strength
And love
Still abound











 

In and Out

I'm not
In and out of love

I am
In and out
Of frustration
Of confusion
Of patience

I'm not
In and out
Of love

I am
In and out
Of energy
Of motivation
Of willingness

I'm not
In and out
Of love

I am
In and out
Of pain
Of turmoil
Of understanding

I'm not
In and out
Of love

Yet you question
Why I am with you
The answer?
Because I'm all in
My love

Old Poetry #11

I built the tracks
But the train derailed
I built the ship
But it never sailed
I took the test
And I always failed
Though the answers stayed the same
I couldn't help but change
See what it would do
If I answered two plus two
With a Katmandu
Or purple tennis shoe
And no one grasped my sense of humor
Checked my brain for some big tumor
Lost my marbles was the rumor
But I laugh inside
Because I can't abide
By standards doubled
Society troubled
Countries rubbled
Thoughts bubbled
And then they popped
Stopped
Dropped
Fell from the sky into the ocean
Washed ashore by perpetual motion
Rubbed in with your suntan lotion
Affected you like a secret potion
And now your mind changed
Expanded
Contorted
And when asked two plus two
It was you who retorted
The grass is blue
The sky is green
In the end
What does it all mean?
Do you know the story of Jack and the Bean?
No, there was no stalk
That part was all talk
To make a good story
Not quite allegory
Just a tall tale
Seeking a fairy
A beast that is hairy
And a maiden of dairy
But I digress...
You're under duress
By society's mess
And civil unrest
Though maybe not best
Is necessary
Just like the fairy in the tale
And the future will show
All that you know and believe to be true
Will ultimately find
And follow you

Emotional. Sledgehammer.

Unknowingly
You wield
An emotional
Sledgehammer

Imagine that peace of mind,
Emotional neutrality,
Is a mountain
I am climbing

I work
So hard
To navigate
All the forces
Of nature
And Mee-made
Obstacles
To reach the summit

It's a slow climb
And I need to rest
From time to time
To recharge

Yet every time
I reach a resting point
Take stock of the journey
Allow myself to feel pleased
With how far I've come
You smack me
With your emotional sledgehammer
And I fall from my perch
Sliding back down the mountain

You look down at me
And question
Why I haven't made progress

This is how I feel today

Bottom

I've bottomed out on tears
On emotion
On fear
On shame
On guilt
On embarrassment
On self-loathing

This is the bottom
I can't get any lower

And I need a fucking hug