Some Nights

I find myself
Doubled over
Asking to be saved
Or forgiven

I ask

To be set free

Even as

I have no idea

What that means

I beg angels

To let me go

Because I know

They've been saving me

I ask gods

To pass judgment

Because I know

They've been letting me slide

And even as

Friends

My angels

Let me go

And even as

My children

Gods to me

Pass judgment

I still know

I owe more

Than what is being asked

Of me

And I don't 

Understand

How to reconcile that

I just have

My bleeding heart

My open mind

My curious nature

My nurturing hand

And the world just

Shuts me out

Slices away

My desire

Such an expert

Swordsman

Is fate

I question

My mastery

Of anything

At all