Tuesday, July 24, 2018

Dear Mee.

Wow, it's been a long time.

I know.

Well, what are you thinking?

What are you feeling?

Love.  Like a welcome home kind of love.  

So, what do you think?

I think you'd be crazy to let him go.  So you better get your act together.

Really?  How can you be so sure?  Aren't you scared?

I'm the brain, remember?  Sure, it's a calculated risk.  But think of all you've been through.  And think of what he's shown you so far.  And think of how long it's been since you've felt anything like this.

That's exactly what I'm afraid of, the last time I felt like this...

The last time you felt like this you were happier than I've known you to be until now.  And that situation was a train wreck.  You ignored every single warning sign.  This time, the red flags are all being thrown up by you.  Still, he's giving you the benefit of the doubt.  Show him who you are.  And remember you are not the sum of your mistakes but the culmination your experiences, good and bad.  You can give in to the weakness or stand in your strength.  We both know the depth of the love of which you are capable.  Share that with someone worthy for once.

What if...

There's no benefit to pondering the what-ifs.  The fact is we have more reasons to trust him than to not trust him.  The fact is, we are strong enough to weather any storm.  The fact is, we need him to grow, no matter what happens in the end.  So the what-ifs are irrelevant.

I guess you're right.  I'm still so scared.

Being scared is fine.  Acting stupid is not.  Get it together, be you, and show him who you are.  Oh, and get some damn sleep.

It's your fault I'm not sleeping.

It's not actually.  I know what's what.  You're the one having trouble sorting it all out.

I never win with you.

It's funny because that's how I've always felt.  But this time, it could be a win-win.  

Okay.

Now go to sleep.

Okay.  Quit it with those freaky teeth falling out dreams.

Hahaha.  I got you.  Good night.    

  


Thursday, July 12, 2018

How Many

How many times
Do I have to sit in pain
To learn
To stand in happiness

How many times
Do I have to break my heart
To learn
To be more gentle

How many times
Do I have to close my eyes
To stop
Seeing the pain in yours

How many times
Do I have to say I'm sorry
To believe
I can be forgiven (there aren't enough sorries in the world)

But still
I'm sorry

Saturday, July 7, 2018

I'm Stuck

I'm stuck
Thinking about you
And I'd really like
To have my brain back

Instead
I have answers
To questions
You asked
Rolling around and around
Since I didn't let them out

I have thoughts
You wanted me to share
Tormenting me
Because I didn't let them out

I have words
I wish I would have spoken
Wandering around lost
Waiting to be let out

And now I'm stuck
Thinking about you
And I'd really
Really
Like to have my brain back.

Thanks.

Wednesday, July 4, 2018

Opening Up?

There's a place
In my heart
That hasn't
Been touched
It's too
Far away
And I haven't
Opened up
But I feel
That perhaps
I'm on
The cusp
The fear
And the anger
I've had enough
I need
To let love in
Before my soul
Corrupts