I'm tired of getting lost
In the past
In the past
Every time
I try to examine it
I'm tired of being afraid
That what I've been through
Is going to come back
And haunt me forever
I'm tried of forgetting...
That defense mechanism
I have enacted
Which has morphed
Into a way of disassociating
Even
When I am not in danger
I'm tired of starting things
And never finishing
I'm tired of losing friends
And lovers
And family
Not due to natural causes
But due to my inability
To connect
And communicate
In a meaningful way
I'm tired of drowning loneliness
In alcohol
And bad behavior
I'm tired of floating
Mindless and distracted
Through my life
My last blog post
Was April 30.
So I've almost abandoned
My daily blog project
Longer
Than I stuck with it.
I'm going to start back.
And see if I can't catch up.
I know that it was difficult
And a lot to process
But it was helping
That retrospective
Was helping me
In ways I could
And couldn't see
So now
That I've inadvertently
Cleared my social calendar
I'm going back
And let's see
Where it leads me
Posts
