Day Forty-One: 02/10/2012 and 02/10/2019

 02/10/2012

    Wisdom is not knowledge of words written upon a page.  It is knowledge of the truth, etched upon your heart.  As I read of the wisdom of others, my heart shines with the understanding of many truths.  I wake-up this morning with this thought in my head, and a heart that is light and happy.  And, it's Friday.  Even better.

02/10/2019

8:08 a.m.

I struggle

I struggle

I seek

I strive

for self-love

Why?

So my love

for you

Will be

Unimpeachable

But

The struggle is real

Sorting through

42 years

Of not knowing

How to feel

My unexamined life

Looms large

And insurmountable

The struggle 

Is real

The urge to run

Perpetually overcome

Just to stay

In a place of discomfort

A cage

Of my own design

So I work

To retrain my mind

To read freedom

Within the confine

I seek

Solace

And peace

You respond

With your

Emotional

Sledgehammer

I communicate poorly

Take too long to see

All that you already know

I want to just go

I want

To just

Go

But 

I strive

To do better

To be better

Knowing

I may not

Beat my expiration

Knowing

The sledgehammer blows

Will keep coming

Knowing

I am not prepared for this

Why?

So my love for you

Will be unimpeachable

Even after

Your love for me

Expires.