Day Forty-Four: 02/13/2014

 02/13/2014

8:54 p.m.

    Snow day today.  I wanted to go into work but I didn't.  The house is a mess and my intention was to clean but now it's messier.  Randall is here and plans to be here this weekend.  It's made me very irritable.  I need to do something to bring peace back into my brain or this is going to be an AWFUL four day weekend.  😟

02/13/2014

LATER

    So. yeah, I'm losing it.  I didn't want Randall here this weekend and I should have said that.  Trying to be open when I didn't want to be has made me bitter and angry.  I could have said no and I should have.  I shouldn't take it out on him that I didn't say no.  

    I'm reading "Women of the Way".  Hoping for some small light.  The book says, "Obstacles often become doorways: what we struggle with frees us."  I am not so sure that obstacles even exist.  It is our mind and perception that determines things are obstacles.  If our mind is free, there is no distinction between an obstacle and a doorway.  They are both, simply, the way.

    I suppose I should go down and apologize to Randall.

    Okay, I apologized.  There is peace in the kingdom.  Or at least a ceasefire.