My Story

My story
My narrative
It entertains
It amuses
Sometimes
It impresses
People tell me
I should write it down
Share it
But
The truth is
I need to let it go
For too long
I have been shackled
By the life
I allowed to happen
By not standing up
For myself
By not
Taking personal responsibility
For my present
My future
My past
For not seeing myself
As worthy
To breathe the same air
As others
And it hurts
To think
Of all the pain
I've caused
Hiding
From my own light
Because it hurts
To look back
On my missteps
But to forgive
Myself
I need to examine
That story
Accept all
That has brought me
To this place
In my life
And forgive myself
For not being more protective
Of my heart
And everyone else's.

The sleepless nights
Continue
And I fear
It will be a long time
Before
I sleep soundly
Again
But this time
I will honor
All the good
And be vigilant
To not repeat
Mistakes of the past

Failure hurts
Almost as much
As a broken heart
And when they come
As a package
It's a lot to handle

I feel as though
My future found me
But wished to have found me
In the past
And the present
Was never enough
I was too slow
To see
Too slow
To trust
Too slow
To illuminate his world
With the woman
He must have glimpsed
Inside of me
The one I want
To spend more time
Being

I wish I could have shown him
Before it was too late
Now to honor the love
I found with him
I just have to show myself
And not get lost again