It used to be, when I would come out of a relationship, I would be anxious to find the next guy. I hated the feeling of being alone, especially after being deeply involved with someone. Of course, in this situation, there is never a "good" next.
This is the first time in my life, I don't want a next guy. So who's next? Me. I'm next. I am not going to distract myself from my sadness, my loss, by attempting to fill this gaping hole which has been left in my world. I am going to allow myself to feel my way through these emotions, work them into pieces of art, writing, poetry. I will not cheapen the love I've come to know by drowning my feelings the way I once would. Nights of drinking, one night stands, meaningless "relationships".
I found a strength through this love I didn't know existed inside of me. I found wisdom that was inherent but forgotten. I found a place in my heart that had been untouched, unrevealed. It was the place that holds the key to personal happiness. I found the beauty within. And although I have to let go of him, I will never let go of all that I gained in loving him. And I will never stop loving him.