Wednesday, May 6, 2015

Oops: A Late Birthday Letter

Dear Nexen,

I'm a couple days late on this one.  I apologize, I've been a little distracted.  Someday you'll come to understand the fleeting nature of time.  The game of hide and seek we play with it our entire lives. Anyway, I've found a little for you, for your birthday letter.

You sleep, upstairs, my little bundle of three who still has to remember to put up the third finger when asked how old he is.  It's okay, I also like to think I'm a few fingers younger than I am from time to time.

This year, so much changed.  You, things around you, things in the world, but nothing inside you. Inside you still lives the beautiful, cherished, (fleeting) innocence of a baby.  Your eyes still shine with unbroken, unconditional love and your heart, your heart remains unquestioning, knowing its own value and the value of the connections it has made.  I am very proud of this, because these things are precious and easily lost.  Your mind, your mind is always questioning, growing, becoming stronger. As is your body.  Taller, stronger, faster, more agile.  I will miss the unsteady steps and jumps of two as they fade away in(to) the leaps and bounds of three.     

My birthday wish for you is that this year, your third year, is your best ever.  As our happiness remains intricately interlaced at this early age, I will do my best to pave the way.  A little secret? Great happiness is on the horizon for me, and therefore us, I just have to be open to it.  Unfortunately, my heart is not the same as yours and being open, well, that's not currently my strong suit.  I can't know the future and hope I'm learning from the past but sometimes the line between what is a lesson and what needs to be let go is very blurred.

Maybe I just need to follow your heart, because mine is still in pieces.

Sheesh, this took a depressing turn.

Okay, it's time to get you all up and ready for school.  

I love you birthday boy, two days removed.  I am excited to know you this third year, and I wish us all happiness.


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