Oh hai, broken heart.

Once you were glass
That first time you broke
Those shards in my bloodstream
Nearly killed me

I rebuilt you with porcelain
Without realizing
How easily porcelain breaks
And how much the pieces
Rip apart your insides

So I rebuilt you with plastic
Even though
Every parent knows
How much it hurts to step on a lego

I tried again with playdoh
But it couldn't hold the shape of love
And although my heart didn't break
It became amorphous
And I had to rebuild anyway

What shall I use this time?
A composite perhaps?
Rubber?
Foam?

Or maybe
I will just
Be alone.

Uncertainty

Have I ever been sure
About anything?
In this moment
I am uncertain
Of everything
Even that

Is questioning
A part of my growth
Or my demise

Where have I been?
Where am I going?
Where am I now?

What do I do?
Who am I?

How do I live?

Madness
Or clarity
What is this uncertainty?

A bridge to understanding
Or quicksand

I feel so lost
Again...
Always?

Do I always feel this way?
Underneath?
Inside?
Or is there strength somewhere in there
Knowledge
Purpose
Intention

Why can't I grasp
Truth
It slips through my fingers
Like a fistful of sand
It slips from my mind
Like the item I forgot at the grocery store
It slips from my eyes
Just outside of my periphery
So I close my eyes
And search for truth

Mee

I arrive
At this morning
Grateful
And humble
Willing
But still fearful
Yet strong
In the knowledge
I am
No longer
Alone

Mee

I Miss You

I miss
The way
We used to be
And
Before you say it
I know
The fault
Lies with me

I'm giving up
On my greatest love
Because things aren't right within

Because
I'm tired of hurting
Myself and You

 But
My love
I miss you

i’m sad

I love you
I miss you

I want you
I need you

I just can’t tell you

Empty

You withdraw your love
And leave me empty
At every turn
At least
The ones you deem
As me
Turning from you
But
In reality
Never
Do I turn
It's your perception
Poisoning
The present
When the present
Is me
Loving you
Albeit
From a distance
Because work
Because kids
Because life
And if the sum total
Of those things
Is too much
I better
Get used
To being

Empty