Conversations with Abacus (#2)

Tonight Abacus and I got into a conversation which started with a discussion of different "Michael's". Michael Jackson came-up and he said he was in heaven. This started a discussion about heaven and who was there.  I said, "Do you know Grandma and Grandpa don't believe in heaven?" (which was meant to spark a discussion about Judaism), the following conversation ensued:

Abacus:  "So, they will when they get there."

Me:  "Oh, and when will that be?"

Abacus:  "In like one year.  Or maybe two."  *pause*  "Actually I think six...no...seven.  Seven or eight years."

Me:  "So what's my expiration date?"

Abacus:  "Oh that's not for ten thousand years."

Conversations with Abacus (#1)

Abacus:  Did you know that Chinese people don't fart?
Me:  And where did you get this information?
Abacus:  My friend from China told me.
*pause*
Abacus:  Just kidding.  I looked it up on the internet.
Me:  That doesn't sound very realistic.
Abacus:  Just kidding.  Only Earth people fart.
Me:  Oh?  So Chinese people aren't from Earth?
Abacus:  No, they're from Pluto.