Unrest

I should be able to sleep
Shouldn't I?
(I mean, not right now, it's 4:30 in the afternoon)

But everything inside of me is screaming
My dreams encrypt the truth
So it eludes me as I wake

I held something
Ever so briefly
And it made me happy
And I don't know how act now
It's so weird

I want to move past
Let go
Leap forward

But then I dig a little
And find such beauty
It hurts

And then I don't want to let go anymore
But what's the point of holding on to air
Or the past

Honestly, just knowing you exist makes me happy
And everything unsaid is exactly that
And should stay there
Or am I just thinking that
So I don't have to send the letter...

The Letter

I wrote you
A letter
Illuminating
The dark places
In my brain
The secrets
Of my heart
I thought
Through this act
I could purge you
From my brain
Release you
From my heart

But
Alas
The poetry
Has started

This
Is harder
For me
Than usual
Because I know
There are people
Out there
Who read this blog
For updates
For clues
Where I have been
Where I am going
Am I
Any closer
To them?

But
Perhaps
This
Will be good
For them too

Maybe knowing
Will release them
Maybe writing
Will release me

The things
I didn't do
Or say
Won't stop
Replaying
In my brain
Stabbing
At my heart

But really
There was nothing
To say
Or do

Because I was just lucky
To have
The moment I did
With you

Right?