Made it to month three! I am really very impressed with myself. This has been good for my soul though, I suppose that's why I keep doing it, with regularity. If only I could be so consistent with exercise...I would have my body AND my mind in shape. Someday, perhaps...#goals2023 😉
Also, I CAN'T STAND the version of me I keep meeting from 2009-2010. It's really cringeworthy stuff. I try not to post much from that time (kinda like how 2012 is a lot of madness), but sometimes it's all there is. And I have definitely chosen NOT to put some of it out there, opting for an undated or something alternate, but I no longer get to choose who I was, only who I become. So for that reason, I'm just going to go ahead and let it all hang out there today.
But, for the record, I am not a fan of the version of me whose entire emotional state is centered around whether I get attention from some man. I am SO GLAD I have outgrown that (you know, for the most part 😓)!
03/01/2010
It's crazy how the writing on the oppose page is five months old yet are feelings that have cycled through again and again.
I'm excited I feel maybe I'm reaching a new plateau but the only way to really know is to see whether the cycle repeats itself.
Tonight he alluded to hanging-out but I held no hope or expectation. He finished work too late and I found I wasnt disappointed. I guess I'm a bit nervous about seeing him anyway given the recent changes in my state of mind. More on that later though, sleep is in order!
03/01/2021 @ 9:49 p.m.
"Be yourself, everyone else is already taken." -Oscar Wilde
I am okay with working on this. That says everything!
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