Hurt

I remind myself
The pain is temporary
I remind myself
It will get easier with time
I remind myself
Again and again
Just as I try to forget

Maybe not forget
But keep you in your place
Which is in the past
That stronghold of happy memories
Tainted by time
And an alternate reality
Truer than the one that was in my head

I hurt today
Because of him
And him too
And they don't understand
Because they never loved me
The way that I love them

So all of my feelings
Emotions
Are incomprehensible to them
Superfluous, even
It doesn't matter
What I say
They just come around
Whenever they feel
Regardless
Of how it impacts my day

With him
I couldn't let go
It was my own fault
I just kept trying
To make things work
A different way
When there was only one truth
And that is I love him
And would do anything for him
And it's impossible
To be friends with someone
When that
Is how you truly feel

In the end
I was so hurt
I contemplated
My own end
Seriously
It was the only time
I ever went quite so far
With those sorts of thoughts

That hurt
Has faded
But my feelings
Never did
And so
Again
I ask
Please
Just stay away

Then with him
It was just madness
An entire
False reality
Culminating
In a very real
Very tragic
Consequence

Even though
The face of tragedy
Is perfect
And adorable
Its weight
Is nearly impossible
For me to carry
It takes everything
Absolutely every last reserve
To make my life work
Right now

Yet he reads my strength
As some sort of vengeance
And attacks me
With his demands
Instead of listening
And realizing
Everyone could get along
So much easier
If he could put others before him
For once


I remind myself
The pain is temporary
I remind myself
It will get easier with time
I remind myself
Again and again
I pray that I can forg(iv)et