5 Minutes

Tonight
I devote
My five minutes
To you

As the rain
Works
To wash away
The memory

Fervently
It falls
As though
Fleeing
Certain doom

And my senses
Recalibrate
After being lost
Amid the gentle rainfall
Spoken word
And gentle kisses

Lucky for me
Five minutes is up

Happy Mother's Day!

The sun

To their earth

The moon

To their stars

For a precious time

We are

The biggest 

And most important 

Person

To them

As they

Are

To us

To grow

Their tiny,

Fragile bodies

To birth

These precious babes

To watch

As they learn to do

Everything

We take for granted 

Lift their head

Recognize your face

Grasp an object

Learn to speak

Both slowly 

And at the speed of light

Their hand

Stops reaching for yours

When you walk together

Their frame

Outgrows your lap

And your legs grow numb 

When they try it anyway

Their minds work

In ways

Increasingly difficult 

To understand 

Their vocabulary 

Becomes a code to crack

And they look to their peers

As often 

As they look to you

(Or more)

Trust

And letting go

Battle suspicion 

And the desire

To hold them close

And off

They go

We watch now

From a distance 

And trust

In our own hearts

And wait for signs 

That we did

At least a few

Things

Right

I hope 

Trying to raise

My three children

As well as my Mom

Raised her three

Is a good enough sign

For her

Happy Mother's Day!

Movement

I've been stuck
Living in
No motion
Life
Has cycled back
Out of necessity
It seems

Eureka!

A fight
In the night
Sheds light
On the path
Less examined
And my mind
Frees
FINALLY
From its chains

Breathing
It's so amazing
To remember
How

Truths
Hot
Stabbing
Truths
Pierce
My resistance
To movement
And
(Painfully)
I move on

My smile
Returns
To a place
Of sincerity

And my eyes
My eyes
Harbor
A little
Less
Pain

I'm moving
Again
Let's Go!

Noticing Silence

This morning
I am
Noticing
Silence

The way
It has flavors
Which play
Upon the palate
Of the mind

The silence
Of a house
Full
Of sleeping children
Is sweet
Like ice cream
Or
Dulce de leche

 The silence
Of the house
After a break-up
Is bitter
But sometimes
Satisfying

 The silence
Of the mind
While the body
Traverses
City streets
During rush hour
Is difficult
To place

The texture
Is smooth
But the flavor
Definitely
Has hints
Of nuttiness

Certainly
The silence
Of midnight
Camping
Deep in the mountains
Has such depth of flavor
The mind
Can only open
And let it pass through

The silence
After a loved one’s
Last breath
Is very salty
And requires
A lot of time
And love
To restore balance
To the mental palate

The silence
After
My Last breath
Will be earthy
And deep
But sweet
I’m thinking
Dark chocolate
With sea salt
And caramel

Hurt

I hurt
Still
From you,
Yes
But from me,
Mostly

I feel as though
Lately
I've been sharpening my swords
And stabbing myself
Because
For a moment
Life felt good

And now
I guess now
I have placed myself
On a new precipice
Hanging off
Facing certain death
I feel normal again
My survival instinct
Resurrected

My fear
My despair
Acute
But so familiar

I'm writing again
That says everything
Doesn't it?

I hurt
All over
From you,
Yes
But from me,
Mostly

Circles

Is it true
That life
Continuously
Circles
Back to scenarios
And situations
From which
You have yet
To learn
The lesson
Which was meant
For you
To learn?

Honestly
Now
On (yet) another
Sleepless
Night

I think
To myself
My lesson
Is
"Value Thyself"

By not
Valuing myself
I open the door
For others
To use me
To hurt me
To violate me
To disregard me
To disrespect me

So
Is it that
History
Will continue
To repeat itself
Until
I learn
This lesson

Or

Is it
That
The failure
To learn
The lesson
Leaves me open
To history
Repeating
Itself?

Either way
I have
GOT
To (fucking)
END
This circle!

State of Mind

I pause
To find
My state
Of mind
Is cloudy

Not the tranquil clouds
Of an otherwise clear blue, summer sky
But the dark and ominous clouds
Of an impending storm

Not just any storm
But the kind of storm
Which wakes the children
And unnerves the pets
Which stops the traffic on the highway
And is the perfect cover
For a terrible murder

Clarity
Is what I seek
But I have forgotten
It seems
How to find it

Maybe sleep will help

Wait...

How do I get to sleep again?