How do you change the world?

Is it a song you post on Facebook
A friend clicks
And it takes them to a new place
Of understanding
Of peace

Is it an object
You inadvertently drop
A person trips
And their life completely changes
In that instant

Is it a child's experience
For which you are responsible
And take for granted
Too many days
Not even realizing
What you are creating
Until you look back

Is it possible
To know
To understand
All the ways
We change the world?

Of course not.

So maybe
We should be
More vigilant
About how
We act
Within it

I'm Cold

And sick
And I wish
You were here
To hold me
Because
In your arms
I feel safe
And loved
And warm
And happy

And I miss you

My Heart on Paper

The connection
From my brain
To my vocal cords
Is sometimes
Faulty

The connection
From my brain
To my heart
Is sometimes
Contentious

The connection
From my heart
To my vocal cords
Has yet
To be found

The connection
From my heart
To the written word
Is all
I have

So I pour my heart out
On paper
And I see your words
As a reflection
Of your heart

So be careful
Of what you write to me
Because those words
Have the power
To make me love you
Leave you
Respect you
Or despise you

Thanks Friends

In Tears

In tears
I greet the morning
Another day
Of trying
To mitigate
My sadness
Pain
Anguish

Another day
Of failure

I thought to post
On Facebook
A note of gratitude
For friends
Family

And then I remembered
How people scold me
For being too personal
Putting too much out there

I was going to say
I am struggling right now
But am thankful
For everyone
Who cares
Each person
Is a breath of air
To which naturally
You cling
When you are suffocating

I guess maybe
I will post that
After all.

Okay well,
My post ended up a little different
Than I intended.

Then again,
So did my life.

Mistakes

Every single day
I make a mistake
Every. Single. Day.
The mistake?
Thinking you might resemble
Just 1%
Of the man
I met
6 years ago.

Possessing human decency
Regard for others
Compassion
Love, even.

But not for me.
Not for Mee.

I would like to say
Someday
I will stop
Making this mistake

But what can I say
At heart
I'm a dreamer
Even shattered
It still dreams
Not for love
Only for kindness
Maybe a little understanding
A tiny crumb
Of consideration
A thimble
Of respect

Maybe I won't ever
Stop making that mistake
Because you're his father after all
And children
Learn by example

So giving up
On the idea
You might treat me
Like something other
Than shit you stepped in
And can't fully wipe off your shoe
Will be letting go
Of the idea
My son
Will have a good decent example
Of what it is
To be a man
Who treats others
(Women especially)
With kindness
Compassion
And respect
Even
If they're not currently putting out
For you

My Tears

Maybe
One has your name

Maybe
It's more than one

Maybe
They are for lost love

Maybe
They are for love I never had

Maybe
They are for the loneliness
That wakes me
At 3:00 a.m.
To hold its hand
And remind me
How empty
My bed feels
At 3:00 a.m.

Maybe
They are for the children
Disappointed
Because their life
Their home
Their mother
Is not beautiful
Like on TV
Or in the movies

Maybe
They are for the stress
Of a day
That begins before dawn
And doesn't end
Until, exhausted
And defeated
I fall into bed
For those precious few hours
Of unconsciousness
Before Loneliness
Wakes me again

Maybe
They are for gratitude
Because despite all the mess
My life is not empty
And despite all the drama
I still have friends
And despite myself
I am. Still. Here.