A Page from my Journal

January 9, 2012
7:48 a.m.

I've begun reading, "Eastern Body, Western Mind"  Figure 0.3 is a Table of Correspondences which relates 12 concepts to the seven chakras.  I am most taken, at the moment, with the correspondence of "rights".  It feels so good to read, write and think...

1.  I have the right to be here.  I have the right to have.

2.  I have the right to feel.  I have the right to want.

3.  I have the right to act.

4.  I have the right to love.  I have the right to be loved.

5.  I have the right to speak.  I have the right to be heard.

6.  I have the right to see.

7.  I have the right to know.

These are the inalienable rights of every human.  I have lived my entire life believing to some extent that I did not have any of these rights.  Of course there have been moments in my life when I have connected with my inner self in a positive way and have seen and even acted upon my intrinsic knowledge of these rights.  But largely they have been denied to me by myself (mostly) and others (because dwelling in darkness makes you vulnerable to predators).  

It has come time to recognize and exalt in my rights and the rights of every other human being.  I have been guilty of repressing the rights of others, although in general, for an unenlightened person, I think I have been generally respectful.

I am truly excited for this next chapter in my life.  All of this growth feels SO GOOD.  Physically, emotionally, spiritually.

Forgiveness looms in the future as an ominous promise.  I know it will clear the path to enlightenment but I am also very aware if I have not traveled far enough on my path, it could open a door to unparalleled pain and unhappiness.  I have suffered enough.  I refuse to open that door until my brilliance outshines all the darkness behind it.

I feel close but also this brand of happiness feels very new and ultimately I have far more practice, experience and comfort dwelling in a darker realm.  I need to continue to protect this happiness I am cultivating within.  This means continuing to keep myself safe from him.