Wandering

My mind
I find
Wandering
Often enough

I know
Where to find it
And how
To bring it back

Especially now
Especially.
Now.

Lately
My mind
Has been
Visiting
The same space

Again and
Again.

I dare not
Reveal
My secrets

Yet,
What have I
Kept
From you?

Nothing.

Well,
I suppose
There are pieces
of Mee
I'm saving
But they're not
Secrets
Per se

It's hard
For me
To think
About
(You)

But,

It's easy
For me
To feel

How unsightly
To allow
My feelings
To ooze out
All over
This page

I really should
Clean-up
This mess

But then
You haven't minded
My mess
So far

A message from my tea bag

"Our intuition comes from innocence."
~Yogi Tea Bag

I was innocent
Where was my intuition?
I believed
I believed
I believed it all

How could I not know?
How could I not see?

How can I not regret
When it hurts me every day

It's painful, see
To give it all
To really believe
And find your truth
Was as permanent
As the wind in the trees

Here one moment
Gone the next
And when the wind
Blows hard enough
The very landscape
Is altered forever

How can I blame the wind?
The wind knows not
How to behave any different.

I, on the other hand,
I know better.

I know better than to trust
A summer's breeze

To assign permanency
To the fleeting touch of air
Caressing my body, my hair

I know better than to believe
A storm
Is a safe harbor
Even when
The wind
Is allowing me to fly

In Earth I trust
In solid ground
I stand upon her now
As the wind begins to swirl around

My heart
A kite
Tethered to my soul

My soul
A child
A lifetime to unfold

My brain
The string
Whispers...
Reel it in, reel it in

4:46 a.m.

Body:  Hey, brain, can you stop now?  I'm really tired and it would be nice to get some sleep.

Brain:  I'm sorry.  I can't seem to stop.  I blame it on Heart.  I have to be vigilant.  I feel as though if I let my guard down for a single moment, Heart will take over and we know what happens then.

Heart:  Would it really be so bad?  It's been so long since I've felt anything but pain.  We have a chance here, he seems so...

Brain:  STOP IT!  Right now.  Just stop it.  HE'S MARRIED.  Just like the other one.  He knows how to reach you, Heart, through his words, JUST LIKE THE OTHER ONE.  You can't put us through this again.  I will not let you.



Heart:  But Brain, maybe he's different.  Doesn't he deserve a chance?  I'm lonely Brain, I want to be open again.  I want someone to know me.



Body:  Well, as long as we're playing this game...



Brain:  Okay, I concede, we definitely need sleep!  I'll leave you two alone now.  

Body:  Thanks so much, it's time to wake-up now and second alarm goes off in 50 minutes.  Jerk.

Brain:  Well you two are conspiring against me, once again.  I will NOT allow us to fall victim to another man of false intention.  Time will tell, you two just have to be patient, okay?  

Guys?

Hello...

The Path to Happiness

I understand
My path to happiness
Is anything
But straight
And narrow

I've come to understand
My path to happiness
Is not etched in stone
Or even
Permanent marker

But when I use
A pencil
To trace my path
To happiness
There is the danger
Of everything
Being erased

So what
Shall I use
To color
This path?

Pockets of Time

I find
Pockets of time
Used to be
I'd steal them
For me
But now
I think
Of you
And these
Pockets of mine
Suddenly
Feel full
And light
As the days
Are filling
With bright
And now
I only
Have to fight
Myself
To give us
A chance
To be right
Even
If only
For one night

Happy Valentine's Day

Words

Once upon a time
Those words
There upon the page
Set my heart flying
My soul
Happy and free
Dancing through the skies
Thinking your words
Were truth
Relics
From a simpler age
Feeling
The luckiest girl
I savored those words
Wrapped them around me
And let them fuel
A fire
Too dangerous
For even me
(So used to fire)
To allow to burn

Once upon a time
Your words
Were beautiful
Honest representations
Of an immaculate heart
So overtaken
By your words
I blinded myself
To your actions
And the actual
State
Of your heart

When your actions
Overcame
Your ability
To talk yourself
Out of the consequences
Still
Your words
Reached and pulled
Then
Eventually
In desperation
They struck out
Sometimes
In retaliation
Sometimes
In recrimination
Until I could not bear
To read
A
Single
Word

The strength
Of one's words
Equals
The strength
Of one's beliefs
PLUS
The belief
Which others
Carry
In one

When you are given
A gift
Of one
Who believes
Unquestioningly
In every word
And carries
Each word
In her heart
Day after day
Even when those words
Become heavy with pain
And confusion
And loss

When you are given
Such a gift
And you
Rather than cherish it
And hold it to your heart
Question it
And throw it away
But not before
You thoroughly destroy it
Not only for your own purposes
But for the purposes of those after you
For the foreseeable future

Do not ever
EVER
Ask
For that gift back

It is insulting

Your words
Mean less than nothing now
I trust not so much as a single letter
As if "I" ever meant "I"
Surely it never did
And that's just the one letter
Much less all the others
Written in sequence
Written in rhyme

I listen
With an ecstatic heart
For the tree
To finally
Fall