Lime Jello

 It's a strange thing.  I was reading yesterday and the protagonist in the book was going through a tough time and went to a bar for jello shots, they were green. (Amusingly, I am also going through a tough time and I was at a bar reading.  No jello shots though.  I was drinking my usual neat bourbon.)  Then I'm reading today, in Ray Bradbury's "Dandelion Wine", and there's a lime jello reference.

Although my mother did occasionally make us jello as a treat in my youth (she would make anything that was instant or three ingredients or less), it's not even close to a comfort food for me.  It just struck me as such a weird coincidence that there were two green jello references in as many days.

Anyway it's a far more pleasant thing to write about than just about anything else going on in my life these days.  If there's a third, disparate reference to green jello within the next 24 hours, however, I am going to go buy some green jello and make it.  Just because.  Whether I eat it, that's immaterial.  Perhaps I'll make shots.

Minds and Mirrors

I've been sifting

Through mirror illusions

Of myself

At times

Having to punch

The mirror

To find

What's real

In the end

Only my mind

Interprets

My reality

And so

I've set about

Strengthening 

My mind

So that every time

The wind changes

My reality

Is not

Blown

Away

Metal Monkey

I misplaced

My dreams

(Again)

And watch

(Feeling)

Powerless

As my (inner) world

Starts to

Freeze

And I

Do

Nothing

Although

Sometimes

I drink

About it

And then

The outstretched 

Hand

Not knowing

Really 

What it's offering

Other than

Connection

And

After ignoring

So many

I grabbed it

And

I find myself

(Again)

Unstuck

Hmmm

Imagine that.

The Woman in the Mirror

I remember hating you.

I remember allowing you to live in pain.

Thinking you deserve it.

I remember allowing the sadness to swallow you.

I remember wishing to see someone, anyone else.

Thinking it must be easier.

I remember, because it was yesterday.

Today, I look upon your face, and beg you to forget.

I ask you to find it, inside yourself, to be more.

To love.

To find freedom.

Your voice.

To forgive.

To silence the negativity within.

To swallow peace to soothe the pain.

To seek happiness, not distraction.

To see yourself, woman in the mirror,

And be happy for what you see.

I beg you.

Problematically

I love 

The feel 

Of the night

I hold

Entropy

In my arms

Allowing it

To take me

Spread me thin

Equalize me

As I whisper

To gravity

Keep me 

Grounded 

And I wink

At kinesthetics

Asking it

To move me

I smile

At the thought of you

Defying physics

Logic

And time

I don't remember

Making you mine

Or you

Making me yours

But here we are

Plane Thoughts

 And didn't you know?  She asked herself as they ascended.  Didn't you know how this would feel?

It's different though, she replied.  Now, today, it's new.

We write our own stories as we walk, run, skip through life.  As we float, barrel, bully our way forward.

We look back and what?  Cry?  Laugh?  Dream?  Hope?  What is there to now but the future?  What is there to future but past?

What if I held your pain in my arms and it dissipated?  What then? Would life be bearable?  Or unbearable still because you were not the one who ceased your own pain?

I call upon the heavens and they rain down vengeance.  What of our future then?

Who is Harvey Weinstein and why did I meet him?  He who I know.  My own family patriarch.  He doesn't know that I see him.  He feels it though.  But he doesn't know.  Everyone watches and thinks other.

But I am so much they don't know

Take my pain, sky.  Take it and rain relief upon all those in pain.  Or do you need my relief?   Take that and leave me with pain.

It is my bedfellow anyway.  Before and after.

Wonder

 Did I forget,

Or didn’t I ever know.