I remember

I remember what it felt like
To think of you
And feel elation
It was a happines
I had never experienced
In quite that way
It was something
I cherished
Each and every day
But inside me
Somewhere deep
I suppose I knew
It was fleeting
Running away
Just as I was trying
To fully embrace it
Everything went
So terribly wrong
And these past months
Have been dreadfully long
And at the same time
Fleeting, still

There isn't much time left
And forgiveness
It seems impossibly far away
Because I remember

I remember being held by you
And never wanting to be let go
I remember being kissed by you
And thinking I would never know
A sensation quite the same
Never realizing
It was all some sick, cruel game

I remember being "loved" by you
And all that I thought was true
And it breaks my heart
Over
And over
And over
And over again

And the anger
Seems unending
And my heart
Needs much more mending

I thought I was so much closer than this