Tuesday, January 31, 2012

Out of My Mind


I need

To get out of my mind

I have been very productive
A great deal
But this
Has taken me
From work
I need
To do
On myself

I find myself
And judgmental
Obsessive, circular thoughts

And so
I need
To get
Out of my mind
And find my way
To my body
To my authentic self

Which is not
A paragon of production
A perfect employee
Or mother
Or housecleaner
It is a person
A pregnant one, no less
Approaching her third trimester
On occasion
Needs a good rest
And must learn
To not feel guilty about that

But who will do my work
If I rest?
Who will care for my children
If I rest?
Who will clean my house
If I rest?
No one.
And that's the point.
It will all be there
For you to take care of
When you're done resting
So why drive yourself
To the edge of sanity
Why not
Give yourself a break

There will always be more work
There may never be
Another chance
To simply stop
And enjoy the feeling
Of growing a life
Inside of you
To enjoy
This type of personal growth
That only devastating loss
Can inspire

I am fortunate
In a million ways
So I need to stop
Pushing myself to do more and more
And urge myself
To pause
And remember
Why I am working so hard in the first place

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