Wednesday, November 16, 2011

Where am I?

I am in a place
Where the only light
Is shining from the inside
Every day
I wake-up
In darkness
I can't see where I am
I can't see where I am going
So I close my eyes again
And find the light
And it guides me

Sometimes they are there
The little lights of my life
That came from inside me
And those mornings
Are a lot brighter
But these mornings
When all is dark around me
I wake-up
And remind myself to breathe

I am here
Just where I need to be
And it is the most painful place
I have ever been
And I am alone
And I am not looking to be comforted
Or distracted

It would be easy
To fall into a moment
Because those moments
Are exactly what caused this fall
It would be easy
To take comfort
In arms that used to hold me
And a voice
A voice that once spoke words
That made my heart take flight
It would be easy
To put away my defenses
And feel that love again
For even just one night

But the truth has burned my eyes
And scarred my soul
The truth has ripped my heart out
Beating from my chest
And with exacting coldness
Torn out that part he gave me
And replaced it with this mess

I work feverishly
To stop the bleeding
And heal my wounded heart
I intend to be reborn
To have another start
A new beginning
A chance to live free
Or maybe it's less of a rebirth
And more of an evolution
I will be the love I see
And I will not bother my eyes
With any more lies
Show me something real
Or just fucking leave me be

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