August 25, 2008

You know
There's this
Part of me
This
Straight up
Good heart
In me
Which
Is obscured
By all
The bad thoughts
I think
Of myself

And still
Sometimes
I shine
With
An inexplicable
Beauty
Which makes
People
Think things
And
Feel things
I don't
Understand

And all throughout
My history
I've had
People
Believe
In me
Except
The ones
I knew
The best

And it's funny
How that
Sticks with you
The opinions of
A selected few
And beats
You down
Over the course
Of your life

And I knew
I wanted
To disassociate
And learn
Of something
To make me
Great
And worthy
And loved

But you know
I spent years
Looking
And years
Running
And now
I'm tired
Of
Self-examination

But
My legs
Are still
Strong
And the
Urge
To run
Is miles long
And I know
I can outrun
My past
At long last

Yet
I find myself
Standing still
Biding my time
Examining my mind
For reality
Beyond perception
For true
Fucking
Comprehension
Of this girl
Of this woman
Of this life
Of this family
And all that is
Important to me

I've made
My life
A battlefield
Because
I lacked
The strength
To resolve
My inner struggle
And inner peace
Brings balance
And I was
Finding my way
On the right path
Perhaps
Once
Some time ago
But my brain
Confuses quiet
And emptiness
And does not
Allow
The peace
To stay
For fear
Of becoming
Brain dead