Oldies

December 31, 2006

Alone, with my thoughts attacking
I pray for the least hijacking
Of my feelings, thoughts, and/or emotions
Steal them, rape them, drown them in ocean's
Waters, salty like my tears dropping
Waters, deep like my fears cropping
up around my periphery
Take my eyes too, that I may not see
All the pain, self-inflicted
All the shame, to be re-gifted
passed on to the next generation
If I succumb to my alienation
If I allow soul devastation
If I cannot beat this infernal infestation
If I cannot beat this internal manifestation
Of self-hatred, self-loathing, self-pity and despair
If I cannot believe I deserve to breathe the same air

Alone, with bad thoughts subsiding
I laugh, for my brain's abiding
By new feelings, thoughts and new emotions
Hold them, love them, float them in ocean's
Waters, buoyant like a blue balloon
Waters, brilliant like the sun and moon
rising and setting
Show me the way, that I may see
All the beauty, so neglected
All the truth, always reflected
And pass it on to the next generation
If I succumb to my revelations
If I allow soul restoration
If I can beat this emotional infection
If I can beat this painful resurrection
Of past-hatred, past-loathing, past pity, past despair
I will come to believe I deserve all the good that is there