Monday, July 12, 2010

Everything

Could it be
That everything
Is less important
Than I make it out to be

Could it be
That letting go
Is the only way
To be set free

Could it be
That admitting
I have no control
Will ease my anxiety

Could it be
That yesterday
Is exactly
Where it should be

Could it be
That tomorrow
Will only pass me by
If I continue
To hold on to yesterday

Could it be
That today
I can be happy
In a way
I never thought I could

Could it be
My everything
Is what I have to give up
To come into my own

Could it be?

Thursday, July 1, 2010

Just Stop

So I want to talk about this guy...

Just stop.

But he's always on my mind and I really want to discuss...

Just stop.

Well it's really important I just need to...

Just stop.

You don't understand, I...

Just stop.

Why won't you listen to me?

Because I'm sick of hearing it.  Ever since you met this guy it's aaaalllll about him.  Just stop.

But you see...

Just stop.

Why are you treating me like this?  I want to work together.

So listen to me.  Just stop.

But you're not listening to me, why should I listen to you?

Because I'm the brain, and you're the heart.  I've been telling you over and over for the past year to stop, and you'll stop hurting.  But you haven't listened. 

But I love him.

And that's fine.  But he's told you again and again he doesn't love you anymore.  So just stop.

But I can't.

You have a history of loving everyone else more than you love yourself.  Your love for him was unique in that it showed you the path to loving yourself first, and thereby being able to love everyone else more.  You learned that by loving him.  Now remember it.

You're smart.

I am the brain.

I want to be smart too.

Then listen to me.

It's so hard though, I love...

Just stop.

*sigh*  Will it ever stop hurting?

No.  When you lose someone you love, it will always hurt a little to think about them, and the fact they are no longer there.  But it will hurt less and less, over time.

Can I just say...

No.  There is nothing more for you to say.  Listen to what I have to say for a change.  I never win.  I am always following behind you and dealing with the messes you make.  You act without regard for what I think without realizing that what you feel is part of how I determine what I think.  We do not need to be at odds.  It is not purely logic vs. emotion.  Together we make a whole being.  Together.  Now quit working against me all the time.  And as far as this guy...Just Stop.

How?

Follow my lead.  We'll get through this together.

I can't handle the pain.

Which is exactly why we need to stop.  We can handle it.  You'll see.

I believe in you.

I believe in you too.  We're gonna be okay.  Even better, maybe, than ever before.

I'll believe that when I see it.

Ha.  Now you're talking like me.

Uh oh.  We're doomed.

Not a chance.